I haven't posted about Paris and Andalucia, namely because I haven't had the motivation.
I am met with mixed feelings about this trip. It started out really well: I was meeting new people, going out every night, planning trips and so on. Now everyone has more or less settled down into a routine, found a group of friends, and are realizing those plans.
Except for me. In fact, one of my worst fears about studying abroad has essentially come true. I seem to have failed to have made any friends here. Yes, I have people that I talk to from time to time, if it's convenient. However, I don't really get invited to anything, nor am I particularly included in anyone's plans. Although I went to Andalucia this weekend with a group of 30-something people from my program, I spent most of my time not talking. I have become that person who takes other people's group photos, but is almost never included in them (does this make sense at all?).
I have tried to make attempts to meet people. I go to intercambios. I try and contact people on Facebook. Maybe I am not trying hard enough. Maybe my personality is defective. Whatever the cause, something isn't working.
Case in point: It is a Saturday night. Carnaval, a popular Spanish festival, is going on right now in Madrid. It is 10 pm. I just popped a couple of sleeping pills and am about to slip into my pajamas, because I have spent the last 12 hours online waiting for some sign of social invitation to no avail.
In fact, I spend the majority of my time in my apartment by myself.
So, Goodnight!
